Broken

Blogging after more than two years. Something happened? Oh! of course, life made things different. Its like a vortex been added to the most calm water. Life has been this all through, but for some pretty long time it did not show it's true colour.

Yeah, today I am broken. Not just into pieces but those pieces has been further broken to sever more and several more, till a fine dust wasn't extracted. Well, I should have said my heart has been broken to dust. Am I here to complaint? No, not at all. Life teaches one lesson, that one needs to learn. Did I learn any? May be I learned or may be I am learning. 

The love of my life is gone. After spending each and every single moment in the past seven years with her, she is gone. So yeah, I am hurt to an extent survival seemed gloomy at times. Its been close to 20 days that she has not been back with a call or text. Slowly my heart is accepting the fact that she is no more in my life. The person with whom I have almost planned till my funeral left me, I guess 40-45 years before. 

I planned ahead so much that redoing stuff is quite hard. She had her reasons to leave, some I respect and most I think we could work on them but she lost the most important thing of a relationship 'patience'. As I write this, my heart aches but not at that extent which it did 15 days back. One weird thing that is happening, my heart accepting something for the first time is being made fun by my mind. Complicated but yeah, for the very first time my mind has got nuts and heart is in the right place. She is a very wise lady. She texted me "you will get used to this", may be I am but getting up from sleep to check on her and realizing she is gone, am I ever going to get used to that. Well time will speak. 

Well, if you are reading this blog as you did previously (if you remember of this at all) just remember this man is still in love with you and whatever you say, how much hard you become I know you lady, you are also in same love with this man. I will be there in a hope that you will return one day because how lost I am, how down I am, I will hold on to hope, keeping the love alive because we are greater that what we suffer from and my wish for you is to become your own hope. And even if I fail, what is a better way to live. I know you will always have a piece of me in you, wherever you go that will make you remember, who we were...